I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
