Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize