So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
