I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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