Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
