we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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