this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
