i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
