There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
