I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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