if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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