Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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