so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
