He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
