grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
