It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
