Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
