what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
