I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize