piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
