now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
