I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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