i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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