I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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