I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize