FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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