i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
