Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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