haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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