I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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