I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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