I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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