you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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