I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
