me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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