The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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