Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was like eating out sand paper
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize