end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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