At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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