i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
