FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
