I feel like I'm in dance class right now
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
