He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
