So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Life is so much better after having sex.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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