It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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