you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize