we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
