I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
