so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
