K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
