Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
