help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
