i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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