I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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