Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
