Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
