I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
