I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize